ChitChat with a Psycho

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Knock Knock…

I know you are in there. I also know you may not open the door.
Yes, I have been told everything. I also heard you are planning to kill yourself. I know you’ve been hurt but you have locked yourself up, away from the world for weeks now, don’t you think it’s enough?
Maybe Death might be the best solution after all. It will save you more tears, pains and even shame.
So go ahead and die. Incase you don’t know, I saw the boy that caused you pain at a party last Saturday. He was having the fun of his life while you, you have decided to turn yourself to manure soon.

I know you can hear me. I am not begging you to open the door. I will not stop you either. Just give me a minute of your time, to deliver this message from the grave.
A message from your Mother, Father, siblings and others like you.
You must be looking haggard by now! Swollen face, thin body, slurred movements, you’ll look like a ghost already. Your sister sent a message also. Your friends sent theirs too. You remember your crush in Church? He and his friends had something for you.

Unfortunately, there is no Instagram in heaven.
You won’t even know if Beyoncé’s twins will be of the same sex or not.
You haven’t seen The Wedding Party yet, have you? It’s a pity you won’t watch it before you die.
Louis Vuitton just launched some new hot designs. It’s so sad you can’t take shoes and bags with you to Hell, which I’m sure is where you are going.

WAOOW!
She opened the door. Am glad I have your attention now. No, you don’t know me but I guessed right. You look more worse than I imagined. You really look like a walking corpse!.
Please let me in.
Ouch! I’m sure you can’t remember the last time you cleaned this room. I can touch the thick smell of alcohol mixed with smoke, sweat, tears and vomit. I won’t ask you how you managed to breath in here, am just thankful you did.
Yes, I would be quick. I won’t waste your precious time.

Owww. Your parents sent a message, that’s right. Mother said she loves you. Papa said he cares. They are disappointed it’s going to end this way but what can they do? They both said “we will all die someday but how soon, we know not”. Who would have thought their precious princess will die because of a boy?
Mummy says she hope the nightmare will end. Dad’s wish for you is to live once more.
You don’t have to get angry but if it helps, hit me if you can. Better still, you will want to cry. I know you consider yourself a strong girl. Instead of crying, you’d rather turn violent. You’d rather become abusive. Maybe you will drag me out and bang the door on my face. I’m happy you are doing none of these.

No pleasantries but allow me introduce myself. Actually, I don’t have a name so just call me ‘Friend’. I’m no friend of yours, it’s just what people call me. I didn’t come here to console you but to deliver a message. I know am done with it but I still don’t want to leave yet. I look forward to your death because, to me, it’s special.
I have seen many people die but I still don’t want to miss yours. For the first time, I will watch a girl die for someone who doesn’t worth it. I will like to see the last look on your face with these two eyes of mine. All I fed on all these years were hearsay. I want to be a witness to this kind of death. The kind that took Juliet’s life. At least she died for the one who loved her back. Hers is historical but yours, just one out of many.

You see my friend, heartbreak is very constant. Your heart has been breaking since you were a young girl and each feeling differs.
The kind of pain you feel when your father refuses to give you the money you think you really need will be different from the one you’ll feel when your Boo is also seeing your friend.
The kind you will feel when someone you call a friend does something so bad you could never have imagine will be different to that which you feel when the love of your life confesses to being in-love with someone else.
The kind of pain you feel when you discover that someone you see as blood is doing everything to destroy you will be different from been friendzoned by that one person you could ever love.

We all tend to experience heartbreak at different stages that comes in different ways and has different effect or impact on us. From that little pang of pain you feel when someone else buys those shoes you have been eyeing for a while to the huge feeling of death(yours) that accompany being used by someone who claimed to love you back. Heartbreaks and disappointment comes hand-in-hand.

The biggest mistake one can ever make when in this kind of pain is trying to hate the person. The person you truly love. Now that is exactly what you are doing right now. That is not how to heal. You will only re-open the wound everytime. I mean everytime. You will end up hating everyone, you included. Everything you see or do will always remind you of him.
That’s why you can’t stop thinking about him. That’s why you can’t seem to get over him. That’s why you miss him. Now, don’t lie. You know you do! Very much. You are hurting no one but yourself by denying it.

You try to act as if he never existed but you know he had your life. His favourite colour is blue, so tell me, that guy in blue shirt remind you of him right? You remember this song that is been played huh? You do listen to it together. Please stop crying. He doesn’t worth your tears.
Stop checking his F.b posts everytime. Yes he has a new girlfriend now. Take this tissue and wipe the tears. I don’t mean to hurt you dear but it’s high time you realise that hating him is not the solution. I don’t think there is a complete cure for Hypertension yet. Trying to banish the memories of him from your mind can only make you go mad. You won’t want to have that in your medical record, will you?

You think you can’t leave without him but you can. It just feel that way. I have been there before. Now don’t look so surprised. I don’t think this a joke or a ‘test’. This is reality girl. He is gone. It makes no difference, the reason he left.
No No. It’s not him. It’s just Tunde the plumber, calling to check if the sink still leaks…..

TO BE CONTINUED…….

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